Porn is love you can see.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
