at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
