I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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