I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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