out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
