Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
