Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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