Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
