i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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