Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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