so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
