Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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