What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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