Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
