I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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