Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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