I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
