What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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