Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
