Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
