So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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