Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
