i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
