ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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