Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
