seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
