no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
