NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
