Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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