We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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