it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
