Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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