wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
