I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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