I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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