From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
