My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize