her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
