she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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