I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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