Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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