Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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