I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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