she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
