What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
