Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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