Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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