The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
