Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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