I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
