she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
