Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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