It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
