I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
