Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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