like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
