she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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