bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
