When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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