I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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