i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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