I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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