dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I smell like Dick and happiness
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