Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
