How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The adults are the big ones right?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
