the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
its not stalking. its research.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
