they need to just BURY HIM!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
